The Secret to Peace and Happiness
By Phil Golding (Adapted from the Conversations with God Material)
This edition of the newsletter is dedicated to the Conversation with God books written by Neale Donald Walsch. When I first encountered Neale's work, I was at first put off by his claim of having a conversation with God. After I made the effort to read his first book however, I realized that the claim is ultimately a challenge to the reader to recognize that they too can tune into their own inner-spirit and receive guidance in their own unique ways. As Neale (or the guidance through Neale, which I will call God for simplicity's sake) pointed out in Book 1 (page-3-5):
"I talk to everyone all the time, the question is not to whom do I talk, but who listens…My most common form of communication is through feeling. Feeling is the language of the Soul… I also communicate through thought. In communicating through thought, I often use images and pictures…In addition to feelings and thoughts, I also use the vehicle of experience as a grand communicator. And finally, when feelings and thoughts and experience all fail, I use words. Words are really the least effective communicator. They are the most open to misinterpretation…The difficultly is knowing the difference between messages from God and date from other sources. Discrimination is a simple matter with the application of a basic rule:
"Mine is always your Highest Thought, your Clearest Word, your Grandest Feeling. Anything less is from another source…The Highest Thought is always that thought which contains joys. The Clearest Words are those words which contain truth. The Grandest Feeling is that feeling which you call love. Joy, truth, love."
What I found as I studied these works was very practical down-to-earth solutions for the problems of this age, both for personal growth and for society at large. This is what I personally look for. The spiritual interpretations of ancient traditions are not always appropriate for today. Today, it is essential that we all learn to live together in peace and harmony. Finding peace and harmony with nature is also especially important today due to our powerful technologies and a belief that we must consume endless material resources in order to be happy.
In the last few additions of this newsletter I have included a section entitled "The New Spirituality: A civil rights movement for the Soul." Under this heading are sets of key points that highlight conclusions that have been drawn in Neil's books. In this essay I have taken a set of points that have the heading "The Five Fallacies about Life" and put my own spin on it. These fallacies are what destroy peace, happiness and harmony. Elsewhere in the newsletter are passages taken directly from the Conversations with God books.
The Five Fallacies about Life are:
1. Human beings are separate from each other.
2. There is not enough for what human beings need to be happy.
3. To get the stuff of which there is not enough, human beings must compete with each other.
4. Some human beings are better than other human beings.
5. It is appropriate for human beings to resolve severe differences created by all the other fallacies by killing each other.
Fallacy 1. Human beings are separate from each other.
I have found that this problem is difficult to solve without first considering that there are differing levels of consciousness that generate differing perceptions of reality. This consciousness problem has much to do with the way human beings deal with fear. For instance, a child's consciousness is mostly at the mercy of fear. The child is dominated by emotionally driven needs that cannot wait for gratification to be fulfilled. Due to this uncontrolled fear, the child resorts to crying, pleading, sulking and even violent temper tantrums.
So what has this got to do with human beings falsely believing that they are separate from one another? When the human consciousness is dominated by fear, it falls into the primal instinctual state of fight-or-flight. When this primal state is controlling the mind, there is no time for considering others. The mind can only think in terms of raw short-term survival. This is the very mindset that a child is subject to due to its natural state of vulnerability. This is why children need to be cared for. When this care is inadequate, this sense of insecurity carries over into adulthood. Two things are needed to enable the child to mature beyond this primal fear factor. The first is unconditional love. The second is the guidance of wisdom that teaches the child to accept responsibility for its feelings, thoughts, words and actions. This guidance of course, must come with unconditional love. This is Step 1 & 2 of the 5-Step Process that is the bedrock of my counseling and personal development work. Love and wisdom, or to put it another way, acceptance and personal responsibility, is like yin and yang.
It is easy to see this fear factor playing itself out in crime and war. However, it more subtly pervades our general attitudes in society. This is enough to keep the average heart closed down to a point where feeling the oneness of life is out of perceptual range. The more we are in command of our own minds, being able to process and transcend our fears and insecurities with unconditional love and wisdom, the more our hearts are safely open to the subtle currents of life. The fear factor can be overcome to such a degree that the boundaries of separation begin to fall away. A significant level of interconnected consciousness can be achieved by the average individual with a bit of effort and persistence. For this world to change for the better, this is exactly what is required.
For those who have achieved this open-hearted level of self-mastery, harming others, even in subtle ways, weighs heavily on the mind. For the rest, denying and justifying selfish behavior is easy when the consequences are not directly felt, even though the collective results of such behavior are obvious and harmful to everyone.
The social sickness of the first fallacy (believing that we are separate) spreads in all directions, leading to the other fallacies.
Fallacy 2. There is not enough for what human beings need to be happy.
This uncontrolled or unmastered fear factor causes adult human beings to behave like frightened insecure children, even when they appear too powerful and capable. Greed is a perfect example. Greed is a fear-driven behavior that dictates that enough is never enough. In the prosperous countries of the world, in general it could be loosely said that the average citizen possesses and uses five times more than is needed to be comfortable and secure. The top economic bracket uses and hoards substantially more, of course. Meanwhile, so much of the world's population is starving to death or barely existing. The fact that the average citizen of the prosperous countries can turn an unfeeling blind eye to this disaster is a stark example of the collective poor state of human consciousness. As Bono from the band U2 and world ambassador for the humanitarian DATA organization pointed out:
"Right now there is the biggest pandemic in the history of civilization, happening in the world now with AIDS. It's bigger than the Black Death, which took a third of Europe in the Middle Ages. Sixty-five hundred Africans are dying every day of a preventable, treatable disease. And it is not a priority for the West: two 9/11s a day, eighteen jumbo jets of fathers, mothers, families falling out of the sky. No tears, no letters of condolence, no fifty-one-gun salutes. Why? Because we don't put the same value on African life as we put on a European or an American life. God will not let us get away with this, history certainly won't let us get away with our excuses. We say we can't get these antiretroviral drugs to the farthest reaches of Africa , but we can get them our cold fizzy drinks. The tiniest village, you can find a bottle of Coke. Look, if we really thought that an African life was equal in value to an English, a French, or an Irish life, we wouldn't let two and a half million Africans die every year for the stupidest of reasons: money. We just wouldn't. And a very prominent head of state said to me: ‘It's true. If these people weren't Africans, we just couldn't let it happen.' We don't really deep down believe in their equality." (from Bono on Bono: conversations with Michka Assayas. 2005. page 81)
This amazingly sad state of affairs can only get worse while the governments of prosperous countries place economic growth as the number one priority while social justice is pushed further down the list. If we already have more than enough, what is the point of such policies?
I am glad to see the Sudanese appearing in the Australian community in large numbers. This is helping to bring the world a little closer to our doorsteps.
The pervading fear factor of course leads to conflict. War, and the manufacture of armaments, is the biggest drain on the world economy and the world's resources. When a reasonable level of self-mastery (the willingness to learn and practise the ability to take full responsibility to care for one's own mind) is attained, greed and conflict fall away. Both these imbalanced states of mind become quite pointless. A sense of inner-peace and fulfillment is a natural side-effect of a reasonable level of self-mastery. For such people, contemplating acquiring more than they need is like looking at a food advertisement on the TV when you have a full stomach. Such people also know that blaming and hating others for their own emotional and physical hurts is totally self-defeating. They know that emotional pain is caused by their own attitudes to life and the way they perceive what is happening to them. In order to stop hurting, such people simply change their minds and then go about addressing the challenging situation consciously and positively without compromising themselves. To them, problems are opportunities to learn more about life and gain more self-mastery. It is also seen as an opportunity to spread some goodwill around.
Another natural side affect to a reasonable level of self-mastery is the desire to help others. With such awareness, living in opulent luxury while others starve is unbearable. Sharing one's excess resources is a joy.
Fallacy 3. To get the stuff of which there is not enough, human beings must compete with each other.
Even though it may not be popular to say so, competition is another fear-driven behavior. There are perhaps 2 main reasons why competition is seen to be a good thing. The first reason depends on the second fallacy that there isn't enough, which, as I have already pointed out, is a situation created by man's fear rather than being created by nature. Therefore in this regard, competition is just compounding an unhealthy situation.
The second justification says that competition enables man to evolve. In a limited way, this is certainly true, but it is a primal dog-eat-dog way of evolving where someone has to win and someone has to loose. In this loveless environment, greed and exploitation is free to run rampant. In reality, competition is mostly self-defeating. Due to short sighted self-interest, most opportunities to evolve are stifled. An example is the suppressing of superior technology that may appear to threaten existing business practices and profit margins. Another example is exploiting and degrading third world countries for the sake of short-term profit while at the same time sowing the seeds of global unrest that negatively affects everyone. Another example is exploiting and degrading the underprivileged and needy in one's own community for the sake of short-term profit while at the same time generating poverty, anger and resentment, which in turn raises the crime rate as well as countless other negative side effects. Competition does not comprehend the fact that the world needs more love; not bigger profit margins for the few who hold the material power. Again, the first fallacy that believes we are all separate is playing itself out here.
Of course the restrictive regulations of socialist and even communist policies don't work very well either for the same reasons - fear and greed. Rather than policies for social guidance, they become rigid rules that end up having to be policed by those who do not live as an example of those rules in the first place. It is like trying to impose an ideology onto a society that has not yet achieved the maturity of consciousness to perceive the highest good of all. How can I perceive what is the overall good for both myself and my brother if I, for one, don't believe he is my brother, and secondly, don't believe there is enough for both of us? When a sufficient degree of mastery is achieved over the fear-factor, real evolvement is free to begin. The real engine of evolution is not competition, it is SERVICE. For one whose heart is consciously and intelligently open, service, caring and sharing are natural states of mind. Such people have balanced their lives sufficiently to ensure that they always have enough of what they genuinely need. They trust life because they have learned to trust their own natural abilities, which are in tune with the natural forces of life. By natural forces of life I don't mean the lower laws of physical nature that Charles Darwin revealed. I am talking about the higher laws of consciousness - unconditional love and wisdom. When we apply these laws to our lives, our state of mind evolves. Our minds become in tune with qualities such as serenity, compassion, clarity, courage, intuition etc. It is only when man is in tune with these higher laws of consciousness that he is also genuinely in tune with nature. This is different to the harmony a native culture may have with nature that is more the result of learned survival that is still vulnerable to sudden change. The level of self-mastery I am talking about is far more robust and adaptable. It can look after itself under any circumstance.
The desire to serve, when it flows naturally from an evolved heart, strives for the betterment of all beings. Such evolved people know that lifting up their brother will also lift themselves up. A happy and content community is a safe and prosperous community, a community where everyone has what each person genuinely needs for their wellbeing. Fear-based and loveless competition is ultimately self-defeating, whereas genuine heart-felt service is ultimately self-enhancing. Out of control materialism only occurs in communities full of people who are spiritually (being attuned to the higher laws of life rather than religious dogma) empty and lost.
Fallacy 4. Some human beings are better than other human beings.
Now this statement tends to confuse people no end, and yet to someone who has evolved sufficiently above the fear factor, it is not an issue at all. To understand this statement, one must look beyond what human beings do. For example, I write well, it comes easy for me, but don't bother asking me to run a marathon or dance the tango - not unless you have steal cap boots on. On the level of doing everyone has different capacities. Even on the level of being, or consciousness, we are all at different levels of growth, just like a child is to an adult. We all look different and even smell different.
There is one thing however, that is the same for every human being on the face of this planet, and that is we are all equally worthy of love. Few people actually believe this, I mean totally believe this. This is because of our belief in the first fallacy that we are separate. If love does not equally apply to everyone then that means that there is no such thing as unconditional love. To put it bluntly, this reveals the state of confusion, and even insanity, that the human race is in at the moment.
A common question put to me when talking on this subject is: "what about criminals? What about people who hurt other people?" Hands up those who are totally honest and who have never hurt anyone? Does it mean that we deserve love to the degree that we are innocent? This belief seems to be in line with common religious thought, even though it has disastrous consequences for our society. Then I am often asked: "If we show love to all the criminals, does that mean we just free them and let people do whatever they want?" Love must come with wisdom. If you do the crime then, in line with the law of personal responsibility, you must do the time, but while in prison, what a wonderful opportunity to love these people back to sanity. We can love them back to a healthy self-esteem. We can teach them loving communication skills. We can teach them how to overcome their fear and to help out their fellow inmates. We can help them learn how to be an asset to society. In time there would no longer be this stigma around spending time in prison. It would be like going on a personal development course. Instead, today we treat these people like stray dogs or worse and wonder why things don't improve.
There are no circumstances where love does not apply. Love combined with wisdom is not stupid, it is not weak. It knows how to protect the vulnerable while giving guidance to the confused. Love is our birthright. It is unconditional. It is not something that has to be earned. It is the only sane way to treat another human being. Therefore, we are all unique, but we are all equal in worth in the eyes of Love. Race, religion, education, socio-economic status, culture, talent - none of these things make any difference to a person's core worth.
Fallacy 5. It is appropriate for human beings to resolve severe differences created by all the other fallacies by killing each other.
Here is another dilemma. For instance, how could Hitler have been stopped without bloodshed? The answer to this question is; don't create him in the first place. The seeds were sown for Hitler to emerge when, after the First World War, Germany was held down economically as punishment for her part in the war. A proud and industrious people's humiliation and degradation was resentfully prolonged by the countries Germany had harmed. A groundswell of unrest and counter-resentment was inevitable. Hitler offered the people strong leadership, hope and pride. The Germans were too wounded and degraded to see through this dictator's façade until it was too late. Fortunately the same mistake was not repeated after the Second World War. Germany 's and Japan 's economies were quickly rebuilt. Rehabilitated, these countries were able to re-enter the world stage as responsible citizens, offering us their best qualities.
Now we have the mess in Iraq. There is no doubt that Saddam Hussein had to go, but the same rule applies. It was unnecessary that he came to power in the first place. If America , France and England 's foreign policies had genuine integrity and cared for the people of that region, history would be very different. All the dirty deals that went on over the last century have accumulated to make that country the basket case that it is now. Western foreign policy was covertly driven by industrial greed, and it still is. The true story of Laurence of Arabia highlights the situation during and after the First World War. Serving the British government, while sincerely attempting to honour promises made to the Arab peoples who were part of the Allied forces, Laurence eventually became disillusioned with the dishonest dealings of his own government.
Right from the beginning the relevant Western governments knew full well the type of man Saddam Hussein is. They supported him because they thought they could use him for their own unsavory ends, not caring what sort of man they were unleashing onto the Iraqi people. All the way they were sowing the bitter seeds that they are reaping now.
Fanaticism is more likely to occur when people are marginalized, exploited and oppressed, regardless of the religious belief. It is never too late to start repairing the damage done. If government policy is no longer driven by fear and greed, but instead aligned to the highest principles of honesty and integrity, inevitably positive change will be the result. This means that governments must come clean about the dirty dealings of the past in order to wipe the slate clean. Issues in our personal relationships are no different. Such matters are often complex. However, the bottom line in successfully dealing with any situation is taking charge of one's own fear.
Bono, from U2, is a man who is in command of his fear. He and his band have succeeded where most have failed because of their level of personal integrity. They refused to sell themselves out, even in the face of financial loss. As a result they have remained in control of their own destiny. Bono has not been afraid to speak his mind and has put his words into action. For him, fear is no excuse for not acting for the highest good.
"I've set up a company with my wife and the designer, Rogan, called Edun. It's a clothing line… I want it to work as a business, I want it to make profit, but I also want it to contribute something to all the people in the chain. We have the concept of "four respects" at the heart of our company: One, respect for where the clothes are made. We want them to eventually be made in Africa , but certainly the developing world. Two, respect for who makes them. Three, respect for the materials that they are made of. We're trying to use organic cotton when we can. Four, respect for the people who are going to buy them - the consumer…you can make profit without ripping people off, consumer or manufacturer. We want our clothes to tell their story, and the story to be a great one. Because when you buy a pair of jeans, the story of those jeans, where the cotton was grown, who grew it, how the sewers in the factory were treated, those stories are all woven into your jeans, like it or not. If there is a happy beginning, middle and end, I mean if everyone in the process was treated fairly…then when you put on those clothes, you're going to feel better about them and yourself… Ali (Bono's wife) said to me: ‘I want to buy children's clothes that aren't made by children.'" (from Bono on Bono: conversations with Michka Assayas. 2005. page 284-285)
Bono and his wife are people who were fortunate enough to have been born with a natural inner-strength. This was not so much the case for me. The strength was there but buried underneath many layers of fear and heartache. I have had to claw my way out of those limitations and search out the secrets to peace and happiness. In the process I was able to turn hardship into an asset. I am now very aware of how life works and how to turn it to my favor in a way that enables everyone to win.
Actions driven by fear and greed inevitably attract negative consequences. Those who have mastered their fear to a reasonable degree, and who accept unconditional love and personal responsibility as their guiding light, are more likely to act in a way that avoids creating situations that end up in conflict and bloodshed.
In the world today, because of past and present actions of people driven by fear and greed, conflict and poverty still reigns and will continue to reign while these difficult situations are handled with further fear and greed. Pouring petrol onto the fire is the obvious analogy. Our so-called enemies are people just like us, people looking for love and fulfillment in their own unique ways. By acknowledging their equal right to love and fulfillment we can approach these situations in far more constructive ways. Right human relations on the world scale are no different to our personal affairs - the same principles apply. Peace and happiness is not about luck, it is achieved by honest and informed effort. The state of the world that we are handing over to our children is the responsibility of each and every one of us.
"In the end, by the way, the world summit wasn't so bad. In the end, Bush did commit to the Millennium Development goals, which was the first for him. The challenge for 2006 and into the future is to build a movement that forces politicians to keep their promises, and to do more… We've got others coming through now: Angelina Jolie, George Clooney, Brad Pitt, football players, hip-hop stars, NASCARstars…Finally it's the movement that will stop the tin-cupping (endless charity rather thanhelping third world countries become self-sufficient). The movement will give us real political muscle. Before this year, we were asking for one million people in the United States , by the end of the year, to sign on to the One campaign to make poverty history. We have two million! Now, by 2008, by the next election, I am assured there will be five million Americans, which makes us bigger than the Natuional Rifle Association." (from Bono on Bono: conversations with Michka Assayas. 2005. page 331-332)
Bono's spirituality, integrity and humanitarian work beautifully illustrates the practical solutions for our communities and the world at large, spoken about in the Conversation with God books. It is the spirituality for today's world!
Phil Golding is a Transpersonal Psychotherapist and Director of the InnerHarmonyCenter in Brisbane. He also teaches self-mastery and writes on this subject.
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